Dr. Ron Mayforth, Canada, said,
All of us can remember special moments in our lives when someone went out of his/her way to speak a word of encouragement to us. The encourager validated our worth. To affirm another is to speak or act positively about another and to another.
Unlike flattery, we share the truth with another for the other’s benefit, not for our hoped for “gain on investment.”
In our world of stars, superstars, and applause, we are often tempted to give this gift only at times of good performances. How wonderful it is when a caring person has learned to celebrate more the areas of our existence –
⦁Our person is affirmed – our character, faith, beauty, strength, personality, intentional choices, wisdom – our irreducible worth in the love of God.
⦁Our potential is affirmed – others become talent scouts who help us discover, value, and develop our potentials – inherited, spiritual, and acquired.
⦁Our progress is affirmed – we are often too close to ourselves to see or appreciate our growth. How encouraging when someone comes along to celebrate the smallest step toward growth.
⦁Our passages are affirmed – someone shows up at just the right time to celebrate the completion of an important milestone – a birthday, graduation, promotion, wedding, birth, anniversary, a vocational success, the conclusion of a ministry, the presentation of an award, retirement, etc. We all need a few cheerleaders who help us savor our success and go on to the next challenge.
⦁Our performances are affirmed – how good it is to hear, “You lead well, spoke well, sang well, prayed well, served well, listened well, care well, etc. When you do what you do it brings meaning and joy to so many. Keep it up. I love you – God loves you.”
Jesus gave affirmation. He often confronted persons honestly, but He commended them generously. To the Apostle Peter he said, “You are now shifting sand, but further down our faith journey you will become ‘Rocky 1’. I’m going to build something enduring and big on your person and faith.” The Apostle Paul gave affirmation to infant, struggling churches, “when I watch your faith, growth, and service, I jump for joy. You are my trophies, my rewards.”
We all can give affirmation. A pastor friend of mind was stricken by the crippling effects of an aneurysm. His ability to remember and speak were greatly reduced. He had to .leave the pastorate. On the phone, he suggested to me that we probably wouldn’t see each other again. He could not say those words anymore (preach and pray). He would not move around in clergy circle anymore. He could not perform as before. I was stunned. I felt some of his loss and grief. I assured him of our love and friendship. A certain level of performance doesn’t put a dent in that. I admire his successful adjustments. We rendezvous every other year to renew and enjoy each other’s love. We affirm others in many ways –a face–o–ace word, an email, a note in the mail, a phone call, a timely gift, a surprise, a party, a ceremony, a hug, a smile, a tear, an applause, a prayer, a visit.
Caring persons are ever learning how to affirm in sincere and creative ways. You’ve done it before. Do it again, soon, often. We have God and HIS love in us!
